Parry Grip Mega-Party, by Parry Grip
Suggested by Noel Bresland
My wife and I are child free.
We have reasons. First, we’re both far too selfish. Our way of life is comfortable, By The Grace of Jones, and we’d rather not disrupt that. Second, we’re far too lazy. Raising children looks exhausting, and we’re always tired as it is, never mind with the added thrill of Mini-Stevos hurtling around the place. Third, we’d be the worst kind of helicopter parents, if our experience with our kittens is anything to go by. One slight quizzical look or strange noise, and into the boxes and to the vets they’d go! That’s the kittens, not our hypothetical kids.
Finally – and I’m being totally serious here – I’ve watched so many True Crime documentary shows that I’m legitimately jaundiced towards offspring. If the shows are to be believed, your kids will either die gruesome deaths before they’re grown, or they will grow up and kill you while you sleep.
One happy consequence of our choice is that our entertainment time is solely our own. And while we may argue over what show to binge next, we’re safe in the knowledge that we’ll never have to watch nine hours of Peppa Pig back to back.
And so we come to the Parry Grip Mega-Party.
Parry Grip is the frontman for geekrock staples Nerf Herder. As a side-gig, he writes songs and albums for children. The Parry Grip Mega-Party is one such album, supplying fifty short sharp tracks of upbeat danceable music for the ADHD generation, covering a number of child friendly topics.
Standard song topics include Animals Doing Something Weird (Baby Monkey Going Backwards On A Pig, Hamster On A Piano, and Chimpanzee Riding A Segway are just three of many), food in general (This Is The Best Burrito I’ve Ever Eaten, I Am A Banana, I Like Vegetables), and tacos in particular (Surfin’ Taco, Crunchy Taco, and Raining Tacos, which could be a brave new direction for Slayer, should they reform).
Musically, Parry Grip is more adventurous that I’d imagined. There’s a Eurodance core throughout, but over fifty tracks there’s a great deal of style and substance to unpack. Genuine rock riffs, Aqua-style singing, funny raps about broccoli… there’s a chunk to admire. And yes, Penguin With A Funky Shoe (Funky Version) was suitably funky.
On the other hand, there are questionable songs too. Two tracks are dedicated to the iPad or iPhone, shilling for Steve Jobs to a captive childish audience. I’m A Crazy Weirdo And I’m Calling You is a stalker’s call to arms, replete with questionable language, and in one song, there’s too much fat-shaming of an innocent hedgehog for my liking.
As for standout track? I’m fond of Hamster On A Piano, and have been since I saw it on the sitcom Derek. I genuinely admire the oddity involved in Lazy Harp Seal Has No Job. But I have to plump for Neon Pegasus, the overblown space opera that closes out the album. Down with the Gummi King!
But, overall, Parry Grip Mega Party gets 3/10. While it’s catchy – too damn catchy – it’s not something I’d seriously revisit. Listeners with young children should certainly give it a whirl.