Meteora, by Linkin Park
Suggested by Jamie Walsh
“I’ve reviewed one before, I think.”
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“Really? Are you sure?”
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“Let me search ‘Linkin Park’ in the Masterdoc.” … “Huh. You’re right. One previous mention, in the review for A Certain Trigger by Maximo Park.”
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“Because they both have ‘Park’ in the name. It’s funny.”
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“Okay, maybe not funny. But worth a comment.”
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“Okay, maybe not worth a comment, but I made a comment. Leave me alone, they can’t all be Zingers.”
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“Fine, I suppose they can all be Zingers if you buy them from KFC. Good point, move on.”
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“Well, I thought I did, but then again I thought I’d reviewed them earlier in the project. So I guess I don’t. Not a surprise, given my track record. At least I know some of their songs.”
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“Name one? Okay. There’s… … … hmm… … heh… … the one about the fish?”
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“Fine… I thought I knew them, but I don’t. Can’t name one damn song. Happy now?”
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“Their sound? It’s generic Nu Metal, right? All Korn, Limp Bizkit, Slipknot? A bit of screaming, a hatful of rap, some emo nonsense for lyrics and an abundance of enthusiastic bouncing. Do I need another band or album like that?”
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“I’ve said this before, but I’ve a trudged through a lot of Nu Metal on this project. From the classic sound through to Emo and Screamo and Teenage Dreamo and Custard bloody Creamo and beyond. It melts into one, after a while. The bands are the same, the songs are the same, and with Linkin Park I can’t even na… … IN THE END! That’s one of theirs! Isn’t it?”
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“Hah! Yessss! Score! ‘I tried sooo haaaaaard, and got soo faaaaaaaaar, B’tin the eeeend, it does-neeven maaah-ahatuuuur.’ That’s great. Tune!”
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“Not on today’s album, no.”
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“Sure, fire it up.”
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[One hour later]
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“Honestly? I like it. I mean, the phrase ‘difficult second album’ is a cliché for a reason, but Meteora sounds fresh. It’s old enough to buy a pint, but it’s still clean and energetic and vibrant.”
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“Hmm… I’d say Numb, although that’s a safe choice. It’s a little more ballad-like and friendly than the rest. But Faint is good, and so’s Somewhere I Belong. I’ve got a soft spot for Hit the Floor too, with its funkier sound.”
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“Specifically? The cleanliness of the production. It all feels so considered and precise. Sure, you might say it veers towards manufactured, but that doesn’t bother me. It’s polished and practiced, maybe even arrogantly skilful, in every aspect.”
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“The best part? I’d have to say the vocals. That fella belts it out. Screaming, clean, all masterful. He’s great.”
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“He didn’t, did he? … … …. Ah, man … … … that sucks. What a shame. What was his name?”
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“Oh yeah. I remember that. A few years back? Yeah. … … … Chester.”
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“Have they? Since last year? … … … Good for them. How’s the new guy?”
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“Makes sense, if he was already rapping. Mise well do the other bits too, right?”
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“Overall, high seven, I reckon. No, make it a round 8/10. Decent sounds, does what it says on the tin. Solid entertainment. I just wish I knew more of their son-… CRAWLING! That’s one of theirs too! … ‘Craaah lingiiihn mah skiiihn, these wooounds, they wiiiihl, nah hee-uhl!’ … Great stuff!”
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“No, that’s not on this one either.”