Odious Descent Into Decay, by Cerebral Rot
Suggested by Owen Pauling
This will not be a nuanced review. In fact, we can get the score out of the way immediately: 4/10.
We can examine the band’s publicity material: thin men in standard Metal Denims, hair brushed forward to mask their faces, heads bowed in a curious mix of defiance and deep shame. Fists clenched. In a forest. Spikey scribble band logo. Depressingly, appallingly clichéd, but I guess I’m missing the joke.
The sound? Pure Death Metal. Two guitar noises, the first doomladen distorted filth laying down meaty buzzing riffs at what feels like half the speed of actual music, the second jagged discordant stabbing refrains operating diagonally to the orthogonal song structure. The bass booms and consumes, the drums are sometimes fast. The vocals? A strange roiling growl that squats listlessly in the background of the songs, grunting insolently, presenting as a surreptitious belch or a suspiciously wet fart.
Finally, gloriously, we can discuss the elephant in the room: the song titles. Because these are worth cataloguing, in a morbid sense. Ludicrous, disgusting, gigglesome, crass. They took a 3/10 album and stapled a full point onto the final score.
Every track title is golden, but I’ll share my favourite three. Before that, there are honourable mentions for Track 1, the titular Odious Descent into Decay, and Track 4, Cerebral Rot. First, I’m charmed that the actual descent is odious, rather than the decay itself, like going on a crap holiday and complaining about the shuttle bus transfer rather than the one-star hostel hotel. As for Track 3, I admire a band with the stones to name a song after themselves. Debut or compilation album, sure, but an individual track? I’m sure it’s more common than I realise, which you’ll point out in the comments.
Counting down… at number three, it’s Track 3: Reeking Septic Mass. One? It’s a mass, which is never pleasant. Two? It’s septic, crawling with bugs and harmful bacteria. Three? It stinks!
At number two, we have Track 8: Primordial Soup of Radioactive Sewage. I love how this title gets exponentially more horrific with each additional word. It’s like they pulled hideous words out of the Madlib Crass Hat and just lined them up. I wish they’d carried on. “Primordial Soup… *rummage in hat*… of Radioactive… *rummage in hat*… Sewage… *rummage in hat*… Drenched in the Blood… *rummage in hat*… of Mick Hucknall!”
But talking top spot, we’ve my standout, Track 2: Swamped in Festering Excrementia. “Sorry Terry, I can’t make Tuesday night, I’m totally swamped.” … “That’s a shame, Doug. Work comes first.” …. “Oh, it’s not work, Terry. It’s festering excrementia. I’m bloody drowning in the stuff.” Also, the jaunty “-ia” at the end? Classy!
There are a slew of truly hilarious Metal Song Titles out there, such as “Spray Me With Fecal Matter” by F**k… I’m Dead, or “Raped by Elephants” by Torsof**k, or “Warm Diarrhea Blasts on my Face” by Vomit Erection, or “I Staple Tapeworms to my Penis” by Passenger of Sh*t, or “Extruding Testicles Through Garlic Press” by Jig-Al… and trust me, these are the nicer ones on offer. It’s good to see that Cerebral Rot can rumble with the best in this arena, because they sure don’t electrify with their music alone.